I’m an explainer.
Which some people confuse with complainer.
Or long-winded, but I am that too.
I have friends who mean to be well-wishers. But sometimes sound like non-listeners.
Friends that are comedians, but are actually genius observers.
Friends that seem genius, but are just wise enough to not say much.
I’m a sensitive soul who uses words as roots, and I have a worrying mind that lives in the clouds. But often I just look unorganized and tired.
I am that too.
Once, When I Was Homeless {2012}
By E. Prince
—
Once, when I was homeless
I saw a baby deer in the woods.
My dog touched nose to nose with it,
Until the Mom-deer stepped out of the trees
And into the clearing
To make her displeasure known.
—-
Once, when I was homeless
My Mom and I drank tea as we sat on folding chairs
After our dinner of hotdogs and beans.
My brother and father playing gin rummy
On the worn-out picnic table
Found at every camping site.
—-
Once, when I was homeless
We stayed at a campground until the end of November.
We lived in a tent and pull-behind camper.
My parents huddled under blankets in the tent,
My brother and me in the camper with the dog.
We were all awake by seven am.
—-
Once, when I was homeless
We met someone ten-or-so sites away.
He was a writer and had thin, chin-length hair.
His smile was polite but labored.
We would see his camper light on, through the leafless trees,
For hours into the night.
—-
Once, when I was homeless
I complained about the cold,
About walking to the showers with a backpack,
About sleeping next to my brother,
About being bored living in the woods,
Never knowing that I would miss it.
—-
Copyright 2012, Ellee Prince
Swimming in lost seas.
Black capped waves of broken dreams.
Sights lost like forgotten land.
Ship torn apart and left unmanned.
I have been away so long.
Entranced and lulled by a weak song
Sinking in storms singing over
What lullaby has become the lover?
____
Copyright 2000, Ellee Prince
As a girl too eager
I spit out my words.
Like cues in a play
I become what they heard.
But what of this burden?
This thought – word combination
That I willingly water the earth with?
As my heart mumbles something stiff
My ears are ringing from those who speak.
All I can think
Is what I want to say.
I sing out, scream out, and fall out again.
Instead I speak in my infancy
And wash out my head.
The colors drip too willingly
From all that I’ve said.
Exposing too much,
I pretend I’m stuck.
I cry to God and then ignore His sighs.
I cry out to mother and pretend she’s died.
But what of this burden I’ve asked again?
It’s just too entangled in my sin.
Unloose my tongue.
Guide me to truth.
Betray that I’m young,
But don’t lose my youth.
—–
Copyright 2004, Ellee Prince
Confession, 2003
-
I was scared
And I cried
And I loved
And I lied
.
I confessed
And I tried
No more dark
Only light
.
I was scared
And I ran
I was held
By your hand
.
I was healed
I was caught
I was scared
….
Now I’m not
Sometimes envy gets the best of me.
When I can’t figure out who I want to be.
Everyone else seems to know
Exactly where and when they want to go.
I am still standing close to the version of me
I was ten years ago at age eighteen.
When did I grow up during all this?
I remember my aim but not the miss.
I somehow changed course without deciding.
I went along with the falling and the sliding.
and somehow ended up here.
Here? Where? Lost in the midwest.
Where I can try to reach above the rest.
Or at least continue to slip into who I will be.
When envy finally lets go and leaves the best of me.
~EP
